Funny Quote in Hindi
Funny Quote in Hindi : हंसाने की चाह ने इतना मुझे रुलाया हैं, कोई हमदर्द नहीं, दर्द मेरा साया हैं, पेट में गुड गुड हो रही हैं लगता हैं किसी ने मुझे जान के जमाल कोटा पिलाया हैं.
Also Check : 10 बेहतरीन Motivational Quotes आपके Motivation के लिए !
Saari Physics-Chemistry ko hila daala.
Teacher: kaun sa liquid and solid mix karne par Gas banti hai?
Pappu: Raajma-chaaval!
भारत में जितने भी गाड़ियों के पीछे लिखा होता है-
“बुरी नजर वाले तेरा मुँह काला”।आप यकीन मानो यदि हकीकत में ऐसा ही होता तो…
.अब तक हमारा देश वेस्टइंडीज बन चुका होता।
Very very funny definition of latest fasion designing trend…
Wat is FASHION DESIGNING?
Too many talented Brains working on
Too little clothes with
Too many ideas on how 2 cover;
Too little areas..
To expose smartly N Boldly
एक बार खोया हुआ प्यार आपको वापस मिल सकता है,
लेकिन,.
गाड़ी पोछने का कपड़ा अगर खो जाए तो फिर कभी वापस नहीं मिलता…….
–
चाणक्य का डाईवर
Humne unki tasveer apne man manidir mein saja li,
Unki yaadein aapne dil mein basa li,
Lekin jub unhone humein koi tawazzo na di,
To humne bhi unki chhoti behen phasa li.
Funny Quote in Hindi
बेटा : पापा आप शराब मत पिया करो.
पापा : पीने दे बेटा, साथ क्या ले कर जाना है ?
.
बेटा : इसी तरह पीते रहे तो छोड़कर भी क्या जाओगे ?
I Broke My Relationship
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With Books..!!
Bohot Ho Gaya..
Hamare Bich Me Kuch Understanding He Nahi Thi..
वो कौनसी चीज है
जो हमेशा आपकी ही रहेगी
आपकी बीवी की नहीं हो सकती ?.
.
गलती ..!!
Wikipedia: I Know Everything.
Google: I Have Everything.
Facebook: I Know Everybody.
Internet: Without Me, You Are No Body.
Now Finally Electricity: AWAAZ NICHEY…
संता, डॉक्टर से:
जब मैं सोता हूँ तो सपने में बन्दर फुटबॉल खेलते हैं ।डॉक्टर:
कोई दिक्कत नहीं, ये गोली रात को सोने से पहले खा लेना ।संता:
कल से खाऊंगा, आज तो फाइनल हैं
Married hona “Part of living” hai
aur
Married hokar bhi muskurana kar shanti se jina “Art of living”
अगर आप अपने पिता जी की नहीं सुन रहे हैं …
तो आप
अखिलेश हैंअगर आप अपने माता जी की नहीं सुन रहे हैं …
तो आप
राहुल हैंअगर आप किसी की भी नहीं सुन रहे हैं …
तो आप
नरेंद्र मोदी हैंअगर आपकी कोई नहीं सुन रहा है …
तो आप
केजरीवाल हैं!
Funny Quote in Hindi
Sweet insult!!
Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha apne bade bhai ka pair chhu rahe ho kya?
Ladka : ji bhabhiji.
बेटा – बापू इधर आ ..☺
पिता –
ऐसे नही बुलाते बेटा ,
पापा को इज्जत के साथ बुलाते हैं..
बेटा –
बापू इज्जत के साथ इधर आ जा
A boy told his very traditional parents I wanted a tattoo.
.
Got one the very next minute.
A red coloured, chappal shaped tattoo, which lasted a whole
week !!
Funny Quote in Hindi
पत्नी : सुनो जी, महिलाओं को भी अब शनि मंदिर में प्रवेश का अधिकार मिल गया है.
पति : बहुत बढ़िया हुआ, अब शनि देव को भी मालूम पड़ेगा कि साढ़ेसाती किसे कहते हैं..
Boy: Dad, Main Tang Aa Geya Hun Zindagi Se, Ghar Chhod Kar Ja Raha Hun.
Dad: Jaate Time Room Ka Fan or Bulb Band Kar Ke Jana!
एक भिखारी को लोटरी लगी तो उसने मंदिर बनवाया
दूसरा भिखारी : तुने मंदिर क्युं बनवाया ?
पहला भिखारी : इसके सामने अब मैं अकेले ही भिख मागुंगा
दूसरा भिखारी :
Solid investment life long tension free & tax free,
दोस्त, तु तो मोदी का भी over take किया!
Interviewer: Do you have any question?
Female Candidate: Do I look fat in this dress?
टीचर: चाँद पर पहला कदम किसने रखा?
पप्पू: नील आर्मस्ट्रांग ने।
टीचर: और दूसरा?
पप्पू: दूसरा भी उसी ने रखा होगा…लंगड़ी खेलने थोड़े ही गया होगा।
Funny Quote in Hindi
Pappu called his teacher at 2 AM.
Pappu: Teacher, can you repeat what you taught today in class?
Teacher: Wow, was it that interesting?
Pappu: No, I just can’t fall asleep!
Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?
Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR
Pappu went to Police Station.
Inspector: Kya Problem Hai Tumhari?
Pappu: Sir, Mujhe Meri Girlfriend Nahi Mil Rahi.
Inspector: Kab Se?
Pappu: Bachpan Se!
Funny Quote in Hindi
Love is possible after friendship
but
friendship is not possible after love
because
medicines work before death
later nothing can be cured….!!!
Also Check : whatsapp के बेहतरीन फनी स्टेटस हिन्दी मे
There is not a more terrifying moment in life
than when the toilet doesn’t flush at someone else’s house!
Impact of Movies:
Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?
Student:- He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!
ek baat hamesha yaad rakhana,
kabhee kisee ko chhota mat samajhana,
vakt sabaka aata hai – 100 ka note
Funny Quote in Hindi
U are a BITCH
Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Hilariousr u smiling now?
?
?
?
*YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*
Funny Quote in Hindi
Kya aap phone ki batery jaldi khatma hone se paresan hain, to khush ho jaiye…..
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Baba Ramdev aap ke liye lekar aane wale hai, Patanjali Smartphone bass aankh maar maar ke charge karte rahiye.
Bubbli got caugt on date
on Independance day
.
Major Rohail-
What is this?
.
Bubbli-
Dad today is freedom day,
so let me do what I want
Funny Quote in Hindi
AisI VaanI boliye ki sab se jhagada hoE
AisI VaanI boliye ki sab se jhagada hoE
Par us se Jhagada na karen jo aap se Tagada hoE!
Pay My Regards To Ur Father
Who Is Tolerating Such A Dumb Duffer Child,
What A Stamina He Has Got..
I Salute Ur Father:p
kya batae gaalib vo gusse mein bhi ham pe raham kar gai;
Lagaaya kas ke chaanta aur sardi mein gaal garam kar gai….new fresh winter special jokes
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
Funny Quote in Hindi
At a 5 Star restaurant:
Girlfriend: I’ll just have a Fruit salad.
Waiter: And for you, Sir?
Boyfriend: I’ll be Share….! WhatsApp funny sms
Aaj kuch ghabraye se lagte ho,
Thand mein kapkapaye se lagte ho,
Nikhar kar aayi hai surat aapki,
Bahut dino baad nahaye se lagte ho
?Good Morning?
If you have too many women in your life, you are successful like Mr. Trump.
If you have no woman in your life then also you are successful like Mr. Modi.
Real problem is for those who have only one woman in life!
Funny Quote in Hindi
Movie titles related to eng students:
exams – socha na tha,
classes – kabhi kabhi,
question papers – na tum jano na hum,
copying – yaarana,
maths2 – asambhav,
maths1 – mission impossible,
environmental sciences – pyar mein kabhi kabhi,
1st semester – kuch to hai,
2nd semester – yeh kya ho raha hai,
distinction – kal ho na ho,
1st class – raju bangaya gentleman,
2nd class – dil mange more
fail – phir milenge
CA ki patni ne puchha: Mahngai dar kya hoti hai?
CA: pahle tumhari kamar 28 thi aur vajan 45 kilo,ab tumhari kamar hai 38 aur
vajan hai 75 kilo. ab tumhare pass sab kuchh pahle se jyada hai fir v value
kam hai.yahi mahngai dar hai.
Moral: Airthshastra utna Hard nahi hai yadi sahi udaharan dekar samjhaya jay.
Economics is not difficult to understand if you have good/interesting examples to Explain
Dil say dil mila ker to daikho
hamari yad main ansu baha ker to daikho,SMS to kia call bhi karaingay,
kabhi hamaray mobile main card dalwa ker to daikho
Funny Quote in Hindi
What is secret of success?
“by Right Decisions”
How do you make right decisions?
“by Experience”
How do you get experience?
“by Wrong Decision”
Funny Quote in Hindi
Koray kaghaz pe likha tera naam hai,
Teri tasveer bana dali or likha ye pegham hai,“Dimaghi tawazun theek nahi”
dhondnay wale ko 50,000 ka inaam hai 😉
Boy to Very beautiful pretty girl – Recharge ki dukan kaha hai ?
Girl: pata nahi yaar me to Boyfriends se karwa leti hu
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dunsamnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!
Funny Quote in Hindi
Santa: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 50
Santa: 20 lelo
Riksha: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?
Santa: tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega
Teacher:kG class ke bachhe se,
1 se 10 tak gino, me aapko KISS karungi…
BACCHA: 1 SE 100 tak ginu to kya package hai..
Mallaya chahe London me bse ya Jhumri Tilaiya me mujhe koi matlab nahi
bas wo appna mast mast H0T Kingfisher wala Calendar nikalna band naa kare
Funny Quote in Hindi
A guy wrote on his facebook status
“wife chahiye ”
2 girls likd it & 140 men commented”
meri le jaa”
Guy wrote back
“kameeno, maang nahi raha. pooch raha hon…
2 boys with Pappu where going on a Motor cycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop.
Pappu shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega…!
Funny Quote in Hindi
Boss hangs a poster in office
‘I am the boss, dont forget’
He returns from lunch,
finds a slip on his desk,
‘ur wife called, she wants her poster back home..!!’
Santa: Oye tu har sms Do dafa q karta H?
Banta : Taaki tu 1 Forward kar de to doosra tere pas rahay yaar!
Ab To Hum Zero Mettar Bike B Nhi Nikal Sakte
Faraz
.
Mohaly Ki Bachian Kehti Hai Amir Liaquat K Programe Se Laya Hai
School mein Master ji ne chote santa se poocha:
Jisme koyi kami nahi usko kya kehte hai.?
aur jawab aayi:
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Kami- na
If King asks me ”what do u want?
”Million dollars or a true friend” !
I will choose,Million dollars”
Be practical Yaaar !
mil k uraein gay..
Ek Kaam Kar Yaar. .
Tu Na. .
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Is sms msgs Ko Delete Kar De
is Me Kuch Nahi Hai
BF: Darling tere ghar me kaise maan gaye hamare shadi k liye.
GF: Kuch nah ek question ka answer diya or maan gaye.
BF: Kya pucha???
GF: Ladka kya kar ra hai!! mene bus bola pet k andr laath mar raha hai..
Funny Quote in Hindi
Mummy: Kyon Rota hai mera Sona?
Kids: Dad Ne Mujhe Kiss Nahi Di.
Mummy: Tumne Tables Nahi Sunaye Hon Gey.
.
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Kids: Kaamwali Ko Kon Se Tables Aatey Hain?
Teacher: Your Son is intelligent But Spends a lot of Time Thinking About Girls
Mother: If You Find a Solution, Please Advise me, His Father has the Same Problem
Santa went to Battery Shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga doon Sir?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya be….
Also Check : नये ओर बेहतरीन Whatsapp Status साल 2016 के
Tea is dangerous than whisky.
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Please avoid drinking tea.
.
.
I discovered it yesterday.
.
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Last night, I had 8 pegs of whisky at the pub while my wife was having tea at home.
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You should have seen how violent and angry she was
when I went home and i was absolutely Cool…
Funny Quote in Hindi
Ek Raat,
ek Chor,
ek Santa k Ghar me Ghus gaya aur bola: SONA kaha hai?
Santa: Ullu k patthe,
pura Ghar khaali hai kahi bhi jaake SOJA
Phatan khudkushi kr rha tha
.
Dost:
Ye kya kr rhe ho?
.
Phatan:
Mera BV larke k sath bhag gya
Me us larke k bena zinda
Nhi reh skta
Funny Quote in Hindi
Santa Dukhi Tha
Kisi Ne Pucha: Kyu Tension Me Ho?
Santa: Yaar Ek Dost Ko plastic Surgery K Liye 2 Lakh Diye,
Ab Saale Ko Pehchan Nahi pa raha hu
How do I react when I see
someone extreeeemly smart?
I stare and stare and stare &
I smile & smile & when I get tired,
then I put the mirror down.
Funny Quote in Hindi
1 Over me Kitne Balls Peke Jate hai
Kya apne kaha 6?
Galat jawab
1 over me 1 hi ball 6 bar feka jata he
Bade aye!
Cricket k shokeeeen!
3 Reasons 2 Give Exam
1. U Can Spend 3 Hours In Self Meditation.
…2. U Can Complete Ur Sleep.
3. U Can See Ur Teachers Being Bored Who Usually Bore U
Bittu: I sent Love letters to my Girl Friend everyday for 2 years !
Chotu : Then what happenned ?
Bittu : She Married the ‘Postman’
Funny Quote in Hindi
She Proposed Me But I Was Rude..
Waah Waaah
She Proposed Me But I Was Rude,
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Being Single Is My attitude… =P
Chiku: Wat is d difference between Welding and Wedding?
Piku: Not much Bro, both are firm joints, in a way… In Welding, there are sparks first and bonding forever, whereas in Wedding there is bonding first and sparks N Shock forever!
लड़का (रोमांटिक अंदाज में):
जान देखो,
मैं तुम्हारी जुल्फों के लिए क्या लाया हूं……?लड़की :
सो स्वीट…!! क्या लाए…..?? O.oलड़का : जूं निकालने वाली कंघी…..!
GF: Tell me those 3 magical words.
Happu: “Got Jio Sim!”
Funny Quote in Hindi
एक दिन पति अपने घर की लाइट ठीक कर रहा था.
तभी उसने अपनी बीवी को आवाज़ लगाईं…बीवी – क्या है ?
पति – ज़रा इधर तो आओ …
बीवी – लो आ गई, अब बोलो ?
पति– ये दो तार हैं, ज़रा इनमे से कोई एक हाथ में पकड़ना
बीवी – क्यों ?
पति– अरे तू पकड़ तो सही एक बार
बीवी – ये लो पकड़ लिया
पति– कुछ हुआ?
बीवी – नहीं तो…
पति – अच्छा, इसका मतलब कर्रेंट दूसरी तार में है.. !!
Dost: yaar ye shaadi ka kya matalab hai? Pappu: dhoom-dhaam se khud ki supaari dena.
Friend: What is marriage?
Pappu: to allow some1 4 contract killing by himself
जब कोई सुबह-सुबह आवाज लगाने से भी न उठे तो…
उसको उठाने का एक नया तरीका लाया गया हैउसके कान में जाकर धीरे से कह दो
” तेरा बाप तेरा मोबाइल चेक कर रहा है”
कूद के भागेगा ससुरा!
Funny Quote in Hindi
Jab Hollywood me film ka seeqwal banta hai to naam kuchh aise hote hai:
1. Rambo
2. Rambo 2
3. Rambo 3
.
Bollywood Movies:
1. Singh is king
2. Singh is Bling
.
SOuth indian Movies:
1. Jine nahi dunga
2. Agle janam bhi jine nahi dunga
3. Paida hi nahi hone dunga……….
Funny Quote in Hindi
वाह रे मानव तेरा स्वभाव….
।। लाश को हाथ लगाता है तो नहाता है …
पर बेजुबान जीव को मार के खाता है ।।
Doctor- Operation chal raha hai
CA: Audit chal Raha hai
MBA: Marketing chal rahi hai
Smart Santa: Fogg chal raha hai
यह मंदिर-मस्ज़िद भी क्या गजब की जगह है दोस्तो.
जंहा गरीब बाहर और अमीर अंदर ‘भीख’ मांगता है..
Pappu was working 1st time in a garment shop.
A customer girl asked:
Underwear dikhana plz.
Papu thora sharmakar:
G aaj nahi pehni.
Funny Quote in Hindi
विचित्र दुनिया का कठोर सत्य..
बारात मे दुल्हे सबसे पीछे
और दुनिया आगे चलती है,
मय्यत मे जनाजा आगे
और दुनिया पीछे चलती है..यानि दुनिया खुशी मे आगे
और दुख मे पीछे हो जाती है..!
Extreme height of laziness:
Thief 1: Let’s count the money that we have robbed today at the bank.
Thief 2: dude I’m so tired.we’ll see in the news…..
अजब तेरी दुनिया
गज़ब तेरा खेल!मोमबत्ती जलाकर मुर्दों को याद करना
और मोमबत्ती बुझाकर जन्मदिन मनाना…
Funny Quote in Hindi
Santa: I think I am going to stay in the hospital for another week.
Banta: Pretty ill?
Santa: Nope, pretty nurse!
लाइन छोटी है,पर मतलब बहुत बड़ा है ~
उम्र भर उठाया बोझ उस कील ने …
और लोग तारीफ़ तस्वीर की करते रहे ..
Boy: A very Beautiful girl.
God: If u r Muslim I’ll give u Katrina,
If ur a Hindu I’ll give u Kareena,
If ur a christian I’ll give u Genelia,
What’s ur Name?
Boy: Abdul Narayan Fernandes.
God: Rakhi sawant de Kamine ko bahut Over Smart ban raha hai.
Funny Quote in Hindi
पायल हज़ारो रूपये में आती है, पर पैरो में पहनी जाती है
और…..
बिंदी 1 रूपये में आती है मगर माथे पर सजाई जाती है
इसलिए कीमत मायने नहीं रखती उसका कृत्य मायने रखता हैं.
Santa asks Banta: Tujay larki phasani aati hai?
Banta: Nahi..!
Santa: Nahi aati to seekh le..
Pehle ek kaagaz ka jahaaz bana..
Phir usay class mein ura..
Mam k puchne par.. larki ka naam lagade..
BAS PHAS GAI LARKI . . .
भारत में जितने भी गाड़ियों के पीछे लिखा होता है-
“बुरी नजर वाले तेरा मुँह काला”।आप यकीन मानो यदि हकीकत में ऐसा ही होता तो…
.अब तक हमारा देश वेस्टइंडीज बन चुका होता।।
Also Check : Whatsapp Greeting
Jaan Leva Ishq-
College me mera haath pakar kar boli ki saat janam tak tumhara saath naa chhorugi sathiya
College Gate se apne Baap aur Bahi ko aate dekh kar boli kamine kisko pooch kar pakra mera haath
very funny hindi sms
Funny Quote in Hindi
लड़का:
डैड मम्मी नहीं है घर पे,
आ जाओ कुछ तो करेंगे मिलके….लड़की:
तू रहने दे कमीने,
ऐसे ही एक बार बुला के बरतन धुलवाया था मुझसे!!
Boy: I love you baby
Girl: I Have already a boyfriend
He: Olx pe bech de
Purana jayega, tabhi to naya aayega
very funny hindi sms
ग्रामर की टीचर पप्पू से –
“संदीप अब शराब नहीं पीता है।
“इसमें संदीप क्या है ??.
पप्पू –
इसमें संदीप माता रानी का भगत है और
उसने नवरात्रा रखा हुआ है।
Husband – mere paas proof hai tumhara chakkar parosan ke sath hai
Husband- kaya proof hai batoo??
Wife- Uska husband Kal raat tumhara underwear pahankar aya tha
Funny Quote in Hindi
बापू अपने कुँवारे बेटे से – बेटा बाहर देखी गली मे ढो़ल किसके बज रहे हैं?
कुंवारा बेटा – जिसके माँ बाप समझदार हैं उनके बज रहे हैं।
130km/hr की स्पीड से उड़ती हुई चप्पल मिली ।
Jailor To Tailor:
1000 Pants Aur 999 Shirts Silvake Bhej Dena.
Tailor:
Jailorsahab Ye Ek Shirt Kam Kyu..?
Jailor;
Shalmann Khann Aa Raha Hain Na!!!
Funny Quote in Hindi
नहीं जा पाया आज मंदिर
तो घर में ही माँ के पैर दबा लिएमाँ की ममता भावनाओ में बह निकली,
जमा के 2 लात दी और बोली…या तो तू ठीक से पैर दबा ले या फिर मोबाइल चला ले।
Kitna lucky hoga wo boyfriend
Jo Apni girlfriend Se Yeh Sunta Hoga….
Jaanu Tum Phone Cut Karo Na,
Main tumko call back karti hun..
हंसी के लिए ग़म कुर्बान,
ख़ुशी के लिए आंसू कुर्बान,
दोस्त के लिए जान भी कुर्बान,और
अगर दोस्त की गर्लफ्रेंड मिल जाये
तो…
साला दोस्त भी कुर्बान
Funny Quote in Hindi
GF 2 BF bahot attitude hai tum me
BF – Attitude to bachpan se Hai
Jab me peda huwa tha
to ded saal mene kisi se baat nahi ki the
Dil main he mere Dard-e-bhutto
“Dard-e-bhutto”
“Dard-e-bhutto”
Wo hasina wo nilam pari,,
hui thi wo election main khari,,
na jane kahan se goli chal pari,,
hamare lia ho gayi mushkil khari,,
Dil main hay mere
“”Dard-e-Bhutto””
“”Dard-e-Bhutto””ha koi muqabla karne wala
Mummy-beta paper kesa tha?
Beta-Patla saa tha, white colour ka
…
Mummy gusse me-de thappar de thappar par thappar
kamine tune kuch nahi lika hoga exam me nalayak
Diff B/W Ignorance & selfcontrol?
When u c mirror & u don’t laugh at yourself,
that is ignorance!&
When i look at u & i don’t laugh,
thats called self control:-)
Jinte Jildi ladko ko love ho jata hai
utni jaldi ladki ye bhi decide nahi kaar pati hai
.
.
Dark lipstick lagani hai ya light
One Of The Best Quote,
Always have a
BACKUP
BEFORE
BREAKUP! :p
Log pata Nhi Kaise propose kar dete Hain
Mujhe To Pani-Puri Khane K Bad,
Papdi Mangne Me Bhi Sharam Aa Jati Hai
A successful marriage is based
On give & take:Where husband gives money,
Gifts, dresses n wife takes it&
Where wife gives advices, lectures,
Tensions & husband takes it..!!
Aajkal Ke ladko Ko Kya Pata Struggle Kya Hai ??
Hum Ne Wo Time Bhi Dekha Hai Jab.
Mobile Me “S” Type Karne K Liye..
“7” K Button Ko 4 Baar Dabana Padta Thaa
Height of confidence
Once many professors were called and asked to sit in an airplane.
After they sat. They were informed that the plane is made by their students.
All of them ran and got out of plane exdcept one.
People asked him the reason
He said,”If it’s made by my students it will not even start.”
BF 2 GF- girls Love Marriage Q Karti Hai?
Gf: Anjaan Namoona Milne Se To Achaa Hai,
Jaana Pehchana Kamina Mil Jaye.
There are Two Ways To Rule a Girl / Women
.
.
.
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.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And nobody knows them.
Tinku: 1 Manf0rce Dena.
Dukandaar: Tum To Masterjee K Bete Ho na?
Tinku: Mentos Bola Mentossssssss,
1-2 Vicks vi De Dena Gala Kharab H
Medicine ka naam bhi nahi nikal raha thik se.
Funny Quote in Hindi
I always think about U.
I cant live without U.
I really need U.
Im totally mad about U.
I just wanna be with U.
Im crazy 4 U.
I wanna marry U.
I LOVE U.
Yoga Madam:- Dear students!!
Batao Mai Ek Paav Par Kab Aur.
Kyo Khadi Rehti Hu ??
.
Student:- Nahane Ke Baad Chaddi Pahane Ke Time…
main tumse kuch kahana chahata hu,
wahi baat jo dil ko chu jaye,
wahi pyar ke 3 ilfaz
“MERA india ZINDABAD”
Funny Quote in Hindi
Rahul Gandhi Kehte Hai,
“Congress Koi Party Nahi, Ek Soch Hai”
Aur
Vidya Balan Kehti Hai,
“Jahan Soch Hai, Wahan Shouchalay Hai”
Bahut Confusion Hai Bhai Sahab!!
Hont se hont milte hain tu kya huta hai??
?
?
?
?
socho??
?
?
nai pata?
???
?
?
uff
kitna ganda sochte ho kuch nai bus moo band huta hai
Also Check : One Line Status in Hindi
Girlfriend bnane ke baad he
athiktar logo ka pata chalta hai ki
100 rupye se uper ki vi chocolate aati hai
Samandar Bhar Syllabus Hota Hai
Nadi Bhar Parh Pate Hein
Balti Barh Yad Rehta Hai
Chuloo Bhar Number Ate Hein
Jis Mein Hum Doob Jatey Hain
Husband driving Car At Very High Speed:
Dekhi Meri Speed darling??
&
Achanak Car Band Ho Gai..
Biwi Hasne Lagi
Husbnd: Kya Huaa??
Biwi: Kuchh Nahi, Kal Rat Ki Yad Aagai..
Mushraf ki niyat
“Niyat karta hoon 2 molvi marne ki.
6 rocket fire farz.
Wasty bUSH uncle k.
Muon mera Jamia hafza ki tarf”
2 Larkiyon Ko 5 Saal Ki Saza Mili.
Dono 1 Hi Room Mai 5 Saal Guzarnay Ke Bad
Jab Ghar Janay Lagii To…
.
.
.
.
.
1 Larki Boli.
Chal Thikk Hai Baakii Baten Mobile Per Kartey Hain.
Wife:Bht pyar sey
“Suniye! aj meri birthday ha,
Mujhy koi Mehngi C Cheez Ley K Dain Naa Plz”Hsbnd: Chalo Tm
Tayyar Ho Jao,“Hm Cheeni Lenay Chaltey Hy”.
Kid 2 Mom: 20 Rs Dena,
Bahar 1 Garib Ko Dene Hen.
Mom: Kaha Hai Garib?
Kid:Bechra Bahar Dhup Me,
Icecream Bech Raha Hai mummy…….
Lady: Doctor mere lips pe infection hogaya hai.
Doctor: KISS kitni bar karti ho?
Lady: Saal main 1 baar!
Doctor: Infection nahi “ZANG” lag gaya hai.
Ek angrej hindi sikhne ke liye india aaya
30 din yahi raha,
finally usne 2 baate sikhi:”
1. Bigli aa gayi.
2. phir chali gayi…
Aey mere SMS mere dost ke pass jana,
Agar wo so raha ho to shor mat machana,
Jab wo jage to dhire se ‘Muskarana’,
Phir kehna “KANJUS” SMS karo!
Explaining Friends –
Difference Between Shitt & Ohh Shitt.
A Boy Threw A Love Letter To A Girl,
And Fell Near Her Brother !
Shittt !
And His Brother Was A Gay Oh Shitt.
Uncle aik bachay se kehte hain :
beta aik acha sa jhoot bolo agar mujhe
pasand agaya to main tumhien paanch rupay doon gabacha masoomiat se : yeh lo ! abhi to das rupay kahay thay …. !!!!
Very very funny shayari by thief-
Mobile ke night plans ne to hume,
Bhuka maar diya hai dosto,
Jis ghar mein chori k liye jao,
Koi na koi aashiq jag raha hota hai..
Husband : My wife died yesterday..Im trying to cry but tears are not coming, .
What to do?
Friend : Imagine she is Back…
Foot foot kar roya bechara…
Funny Quote in Hindi
Husband : Yaar, Main Koi Bhi Kaam Karta Hu,
To Meri Biwi bich me Aa Jati Hai
Friend : Yaar,
Tu Truck Chalaa Kar Dekh,
Shaayad Qismat Saath De De…!
“Try Your Best Luck”
If King asks me \”what do u want?
\”Million dollars or a true friend\” !
I will choose,
\”Million dollars\”
Be practical Yaaar !
mil k uraein gy ?
Just 4 my cute friends only
Why Do Popcorn Jump When It Is In The Stove?
Why?
Why?
Very curiors na……..
You Sit On The Stove And Then See Why It Will Jump
Do Students Cheating Karne Hi
Wale The Ke Teacher Agya Aur Puncha–
” Tum Se Piche Wale Ladke Ne Abhi
Kya Puncha ? ”
.
.
Student: Sir Iss Ne Puncha Japan Ka
Capital Kya Hai….
.
.
Teacher: Toh Tum Ne Bata Diya.??
.
.
Student: Nai Sir… Mene Isko Danta
Tha Ki Abhi To Tune Muje Toka Hai
Magr Ab Naa ” TOKYO ”
Funny Quote in Hindi
1 ladke Ne Red Fm Radio Pe Phone Kiya
Ladka : Mujhe Ek bag Mila Hai,
Jisme 20000 Cash.
Samsung Galaxy S6
1 Credit Card Aur
Richa gupta Ke Naam Ka Id Mila Hai.
RJ: Wah… Aap Kitne Honest Hain.
Kya Aap Unhe Wo Purse Waapis Karna Chahenge.???
ladka : Nahi!!Nahi!!
Main Chahta Hu Ki Richa Gupta Ke Liye,
Ek Dard Bhara Song Ho Jaaye…..very very sad song
Husband wanted to call the hospital
to ask about his pregnant wife,
.
.
but accidently called the cricket
stadium.
.
.
He asks, “How’s the situation ?”
He was shocked & nearly died on
hearing the reply.
.
.
They said, “It’s fine.
3 are out,
hope to get another 7 out by lunch,
.
.
last one was a duck!!” ?
Wife- mere humdum mere dost,
Aaj tumhari gf night stay karne aaa rahi hai !
Maine fridge mein beer &
Fresh fruit salad banake rakha h
Room freshner side table par h
Nahanay ka soap or towel bhi rakha hai,
Main baccho ko leker papa k yaha jaa rahi hoon,
Kal sham tak aajaungi,
Isko kahate hai
Ek husband ke haseen sapne!!!
Also Check : Best Whatsapp Status in Hindi
Ek baar Husand or wife me ladayi
ho rahi thi.
.
unka chota bacha bhi waha baitha tha,
.
Husband- tu sali kutti
.
wife- tu sala kutta,
.
baccha masumiyat se bola
Aur mai sala puppy ?
Chamali bhabhi ne chaat ki dukan kholi
Dukan khulte hi consumer ki line lag gayi
kyoki
Board par lika tha-
“Sirf 20 Rupye me chamali Bhabhi ki chaat lòó”
This one is ultimate….
.
.
.
A girl says to her boyfriend:One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
The guy says thanks for the warning!:P
Funny Quote in Hindi
Santa: Thinking….thinking…
Banta: kya soch rahe ho yaar?
Santa: ye zee news walo ko kaise pata chalta hai?
Banta: kya?
Santa: yehi ke, ‘aap dekh rahe hai zee news’
Height of shakkk !
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..
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HusBand: Mein tumhare sath 1000 saal rahunga or dher sara pyaar karunga.!
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..
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Biwi: Uske baad kahan muh maarne ka iraada hai????
Bataoo ab chup kyu hogaye,,,??
Duniya me 2 kaam bahut ache hue
Ek to whatsapp aane se pehle study complete hogyi
aur dusra MAGGI band hone se pehle bachpan nikal gaya
Chotu: Mummy tumne jhuth bola Na?
Mom: I told to u every time please speak in English.
Chotu : Ok Mom u lied to me.
Mom : When my son. ?
Chotu : U said that my younger sis is an angel.
Mom : Yes, she is
Chotu : So why didn’t she fly when I threw her from our balcony.
Mom : Kutte .. Kamine…Kaha feka Bacchi ko ????.
Son : Talk in English Mom ? ?
3 boys proposed a girl
1st: Mai tumhare liye
Apni jaan bhi kurbaan kaar sakta hu
Girl: Wo to sab ladke kehte hain
2nd: Mai tumhare liye
Chand taare todkar la sakta hu
Girl: very old dialogue h
3rd: Main tumhari ACTIVA me Roz 2 ltr
Petrol dalwaunga
.
.
.
Girl: Ankho me ansu k sath
Pagal itna chahta hai muje.
Funny Quote in Hindi
Girlfriend: Hey
Boyfriend: Who’s Hey?, don’t ever call
me back.
Girlfriend: Sorry! My Love, how are
you doing??
Boyfriend: I’m Fine! And You??
Girlfriend: I’m fine, but I need
something from you..
Boyfriend: What???
Girlfriend: Sweetie please could you
SEND me 15k?
Boyfriend: 15k for what??
Girlfriend: 5k for my clothes, 7k for
my hair+nails and 3k for my shoes.
Boyfriend: Aww sure my love, here..
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k ,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k,
k .
count
it, its complete and take this extra 2k.
k,k that’s for your perfume
50% lovers love-romance kyun nahi kar pate?
1. Girlfriend nahi manti?
2. Seriousness?
3. Dono Raji nahi hote
Ans- room-space hi nahi milta!!
Husband – Cricket wala channel lagao.
Wife – Nahi lagaungi.
.
.
.
Husband – Dekh lunga.
Wife – Kya dekhloge?
.
.
.
Husband – Yahi channel jo tum dekh rahi ho. ?
Arz kiya hai gour kijiyega-
Mat pyar kro pardeshi se rote rote aakhe thak jayenge,
Pyar kro hmesha parosi se,
Roj balkani se darshan to ho jayenge…
भारत में जितने भी गाड़ियों के पीछे लिखा होता है-
“बुरी नजर वाले तेरा मुँह काला”।आप यकीन मानो यदि हकीकत में ऐसा ही होता तो…
.अब तक हमारा देश वेस्टइंडीज बन चुका होता।।
ek ladki roj subah 10 baje per ke daal me beth jati the
aur
saam ko 6 baje utaar jati the
MBA karke paagal ho gaye the
Khud ko branch maneger samghte the……
घर से निकला और एक ऑटो वाले से पूछा,
“त्री चक्रीय चालक पूरे सुभाष नगर के परिभ्रमण में
कितनी मुद्रायें व्यय होंगी ?”ऑटो वाले ने कहा, “अबे हिंदी में बोल रे..”
मैंने कहा,
“श्रीमान मै हिंदी में ही वार्तालाप कर रहा हूँ।”ऑटो वाले ने कहा,
“मोदी जी पागल करके ही मानेंगे ।
चलो बैठो कहाँ चलोगे ?”मैंने कहा, “परिसदन चलो”
ऑटो वाला फिर चकराया !
“अब ये परिसदन क्या है ?बगल वाले श्रीमान ने कहा,
“अरे सर्किट हाउस जाएगा”ऑटो वाले ने सर खुजाया बोला,
“बैठिये प्रभु”रास्ते में मैंने पूछा,
“इस नगर में कितने छवि गृह हैं ??”ऑटो वाले ने कहा, “छवि गृह मतलब ??”
मैंने कहा, “चलचित्र मंदिर”
उसने कहा, “यहाँ बहुत मंदिर हैं …
राम मंदिर,
हनुमान मंदिर,
जगन्नाथ मंदिर,
शिव मंदिर”मैंने कहा,
“भाई में तो चलचित्र मंदिर की
बात कर रहा हूँ जिसमें नायक तथा नायिका प्रेमालाप करते हैं …”ऑटो वाला फिर चकराया,
“ये चलचित्र मंदिर क्या होता है ??”
यही सोचते सोचते उसने सामने वाली गाडी में टक्कर मार दी
ऑटो का अगला चक्का
टेढ़ा हो गया और हवा निकल गई।मैंने कहा,
“त्री चक्रीय चालक तुम्हारा अग्र चक्र तो वक्र हो गया …”ऑटो वाले ने मुझे घूर कर देखा
और कहा, “उतर जल्दी उतर !आगे पंचर की दुकान थी
हम ने दुकान वाले से कहा….हे त्रिचक्र वाहिनी सुधारक महोदय
कृप्या अपने वायु ठूंसक यंत्र से मेरे त्रिचक्र वाहिनी के द्वितीय चक्र में वायु ठूंस दीजिये धन्यबाददूकानदार बोला कमीने सुबह से बोनी नहीं हुई और तू शलोक सुना रहा है।
मजा आये तो हसने मे कंजुसी बिल्कुल मत करना !! ?
Funny Quote in Hindi
Also Check : Whatsapp Status in Hindi Funny
Natkhatlal:Tum apne sailoon me
Rahasmai aur romachk books kyu rakhte ho?
Naai:inhe padhker logo ke
Baal khare ho jate hai aur
Mujhe baal katne me aasani hoti h
बनिया की पत्नी की तबियत खराब थी ।
किसी ने उस पर कुछ रूपयेवारने की सलाह दी । ताकि बला टले ।
बनिये ने अपनी पत्नी के सर पर 15₹ वारे । और
उन 15 ₹ में 85₹ और मिला कर अपने रिलायंस मोबाइल नम्बर पर रिचार्ज करवा लिया ।
पत्नी : ये क्या कर रहे हो तुम?
बनिया : 85 रूपये का बैलेंस मेरे पास आ गया। और
तेरे ऊपर वारे गए 15 रूपये अम्बानी को चले गए ।अब तेरी बला अम्बानी के सर पर।
Very motivatinal quotes ever written By dear Natkhatlal
Bachpan me Diwali ke din jaab Rocket chorte hue adbhut gayaan mila tha
Aasman chune ke liye bottle bahut jaruri
पिता: उदास क्यों है बेटा?
बेटा: नहीं बता सकता आपको।
पिता: अपना दोस्त समझ के बता दे।
बेटा:
अब क्या बताऊं यार..
…तेरी भाभी iPhone मांग रही है।दे थप्पड़, दे थप्पड़, दे थप्पड़!
Teacher – Who is very patient person in world?
Santa- Sunny Leonee Cameraman sir answered very confidently
Teacher-Super intelligent student jara mere paas ana
phir kaya teacher de thappar pe thappar….
1 मुर्गी ने बत्तख् से शादी कर ली
मुर्गा:
हम मर गये थे क्या?मुर्गी:
मै तो तुमसे ही शादी करना चाहती थी
पर मम्मी पापा चाहते थे लड़का नेवी में हो.
Common man: Susu jana hai…
1 Famous Shayar-
Mchalti hai pet me kuch lahare si
lagta hai enhe kisi kinare ka entzaar hai…
Funny Quote in Hindi
संता ने बंता को हिंदी SMS भेजा
भेजने वाला महान,
पढ़ने वाला गधा.बंता गुस्से में वापिस sms भेजता है:
भेजने वाला गधा,
पढ़ने वाला महान!
Shradh ke din 1 kowa ka
Facebook, Whatsapp status messages-
“Abhi to party shuru hue hai…”
Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
Patni pati se pura pura din cricket ghuse rahte ho…me Ghar chhod ke ja rahi hu
Pati (commentary ke andaz me): pehli baar kadmo ka behtarin estmaal…
sasural se mayke jaati biwi…..very funny cricket jokes
What is the perfect example
of both Good & Bad Luck?The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)
but at the same time
Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)
New smartphone Age student routine…
T.V. – 3 Ghanta
Facebook- 2 Ghanta
Mobile- 6 Ghanta
Friends- 10 minutes
Girlfriend – 2 Ghanta
Study – Ghanta……
A Journey Of A Thousand
Miles Begins With A Single Step.Then,
You Get In A Car
And Go To The Airport.It Doesn’t Take That Long :p
Agar mohalle ki sabse Khubsurat ladki…
Mohalle ke ladko ka cricket dekh rahe ho to
Dono team ke ladke ese khelte hai, jee jaan lga dete hai
jese India aur Pakistan ka cricket match ho raha ho…
Two Wise Advises for Married Peoples
Never laugh at your wife’s choices…
(You are on of them…)Never be Prouf of Your Choices…
(Your Wife is one of them…)
Teacher Bache-mai kal nahi aauga..
Student-kyo sir?
Teacher-meri shadi
Bache-sir esa mat kigiye
teacher-kyo?
Bache-sir app ne hi sikhaya hai
Phoolwali-phool bechti hai
Sabjiwali – sabji bechti ha
to
Gharwali-ghar nahi bechagi??
Give me some SunShine..!!!
Give me some Rain..!!Give me another Girlfriend..!!
I am Single once again..!!
Agar bhu nibu kha rahi ho to koi jaruri nahi ki
khushkhbri ho……
Jmana badal gaya hai ho sakta hai daru utar rahi ho
Funny Quote in Hindi
Girl:How much do you love me?
Boy:My heart is a mobile and you are its SIMGirl:Ooh God.. I am soo lucky..
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.
.
.
.
.
She doesn’t know that my mobile is dual sim 😛
sadme se mar gaya usi wakt 1 marij jaab doctor ne kaha ki….
Daal ka pani piya karo
Teacher says to student, In Algebra
A=B
&
B=C.
It means A=C.Now give relevant example.
Student: Sir, I love you & You love your daughter,
It means that I love your daughter.
Bharat me bhukamp se sabse jada Prabhavit Hone Wale chetra
Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp!
Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next pleaseAlways KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time
Shart lagi thi duniya ki khushi 3 words me likhne ki wo kitab dudne lage mene “mene biwi mayke gayi” likh diya
Funny Quote in Hindi
Girl to boy: Tum larkay kisi larki mei
sub se pehlay kia daikhte ho ?Boy: Yeh tou depend karta hai k
larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hai …:p
1 auto wale ki shadi ho rahi thi
jab uski dulhan phero ke wakt uske paas
aakar bethi to wo bola thora aur pass aakar betho
abhi 1 aur beth sakti hai
Larka: aik larki ko cherte huwe kahta hai k jan-e-man is dil mai a jao.
Larki: sandil utaroo kia?????Larka:jan-e-man ye dil hai koi masjid nahi sandil pahan kar hi ajao.
jab baarat road pe naach rahi hoti to kuch Chacha, Moasa, Mama log hath hila hila
kar traffic ka sanchalan ese karte hai mano pichle janam me wo pandu hawaldaar the….funny wedding hindi sms
Kash koi “exam result” ka insurance kara deta,
Toh har exam ka pehle premium bharwa dete,
Pass hote toh thik hai,
Varna insurance claim karva lete
Aaj Ka Vichar
Jitna Gaur Se log takkrane ke baad 1-2sre ko dekhte hai
utni Gaur Se agar phle dekh le to takkar lage hi nahi…
Ek pathan Cycle chalaty aur gungunaty
howe kahin ja raha tha rasty mein ek
Aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli
“Break nahi maar sakty thy kia ??? ”Pathan herat se…
“Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”
Boy-tumhare papa Aatankwadi hai?
Girl-no why?
Boy-Coz you are Bomb………Very funny hindi sms
Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi.
Sagar se gahara koi nahi.
Aab aapki kya tarif karu…
Dost me aap jaisa…
Nalayak koi nahi!
Girlfriend- Ghar me koi nahi hai aa jao
Boy-Very shocked…abhi abhi to lauta hu
tere ghar se..
Girl-Sorry, phir se tumhe hi call lag gayi…..
Agar dunia ko kuch karkay dikhana hay to sun lo……..
hathi kai oper ulta kharay hokar photo khichwaoo… ..
phir photo ko ulta karkay dunia ko dekhaooo… Kaisaaaaaaa
Funny Quote in Hindi
motapa hi ek esi chij hai
jise apne se jada dusre ke paas dekhkar khushi hoti hai
Musharaf Reema ka haath pakar kar bola:
“Aao kamray mein chalain”
Reema; “Ki faida, wardi tey tu lani nai”
Ghar me jaab khud ki shadi ki charcha hoti hai to lagta hai
jese election ka ticket mil gaya ho
Shadi ke wo 2-4 din lagta hai jese hum chief minister ho gaye ho
aur
shadi ke 1 saal baad lagta hai jese koi ghotala me fas gaye ho
1 admi doston ki mehfil se raat late ghar gaya
dosto ne pucha k wife ne kuch kaha to nahi
admi bola nahi kuch khas nahi bus ye
2 dant to mai wesay bhi niklwane wala tha
Funny Quote in Hindi